Mastering Presence: 3 Daily Habits to Build Resilience

In support of Movember, I’ve cut to the chase about mental health and focused on one tangible skill at the root of much masculine critique: presence. 

Defined as a state of physical and psychological readiness, presence is more than just sharing the same space physically. It means mentally showing up and tuning in to the physical and emotional states of yourself, others, and the situation in which you find yourself.

Thriving as a fully functioning human means staying grounded when life heats up—whether that’s in the boardroom or the bedroom. Stress, fatigue, and unchecked emotions diminish our capacity to stay present, eroding our focus at work and diminishing our capacity for intimacy at home.

The fix? Conscious Breathing. It’s the fastest way to hack your biology, switching your system from a hyped up "fight or flight" state to a chill "rest and digest" vibe. 

The Core Rules

Before you start, know the basics:

• Nasal Breathing is King: Unless you have a reason not to, breathe through your nose. It harnesses the benefits we’re seeking better than mouth breathing (Gibbs, 2025). 
  

• Slow The F*ck Down (STFD): Deepen your inhale and extend your exhale. Pause after the exhale, not before. This works a little better than pausing after the inhale.
  

• Aim for Consistency: Research suggests around 15-45 minutes of daily practice. You don’t need a marathon full lotus session by the lake with wind chimes and incense. But, if that works for you, hell yeah! 

For a deeper dive into these and other breathing practices, check out “Breath” by James Nestor, or “Breathwork and Psychotherapy” by Jessica Dibb.

The Protocol

Your daily prescription to build resilience, backed by science:

1. The Morning Wakeup Anchor

The Goal: Stop morning dread before it starts.

Setting intentions first thing in the day can be a motivating tactic. Waking up and becoming lost in dread about the awaiting day is a demotivating tactic. Instead of immediately doom-scrolling or worrying about the day's battles, reclaim your first waking moments.

• The Practice: As soon as you wake, focus solely on your breath.
  

• The Technique: Breathe in and out through your nose. Count that as "ONE." Repeat up to "FIVE." Then restart at one. Continue for several minutes.
  

• Pro Tip: When your mind wanders (because it will!), don't sweat it. You can’t stop it. Just restart the count. If you’re REALLY distracted, try counting backward from five. And, if you fall back asleep? Well, it might be time for a sleep hygiene overhaul!

  
  

2. The 3-Minute Mid-day Reset*

The Goal: Lower blood pressure and reset your focus at work.

Use this whenever stress spikes, or, as a transition between tasks. But do it more often than you think you need!

• Minute 1 (Attune): Tune into your current mental and physical state. What thoughts, feelings, and sensations do you notice? Don't try to stop or fix anything, just observe.

• Minute 2 (Anchor): Narrow your attention entirely to the physical sensations of your breath moving in and out of your body 

• Minute 3 (Expand): Widen your awareness to your whole body. Scan for tense spots and "breathe into" areas that need it, allowing relaxation to take the place of tension.

  
  

*Adapted from the “Three Minute Breathing Space” in the The Mindful Way workbook (Teasdale, Williams, & Segal, 2014).

3. Bedtime Box Breathing

The Goal: fall asleep faster and improve sleep quality 

This rhythmic technique is perfect for shutting down the day's noise and activity.

• The Technique: Start with a 3-3-3 second counting rhythm. Don’t strain.

  • Inhale deeply for 3 seconds.

  • Exhale slowly for 3 seconds.

  • Pause for 3 seconds at end of exhale

  • Repeat until you wake up the next morning!
    

• Why It Works: A calm body and calm mind activate the parasympathetic nervous system, signaling to your body that it is safe to sleep.
  

• Expand The Practice: When you’re ready, today or next year, expand the number of seconds until you reach five or more. You can even expand the last segments and keep the count for the initial inhale; e.g. 3-6-7

Customization

Some people use words, phrases, visualizations, and sounds to anchor their breathing cycles. My favorite hack incorporates my heartbeat as a counting mechanism. 

You may find that you prefer practicing these at different times or in ways that vary from those I’ve mentioned. Or, you may already have a practice that works for you. There are many ways to modify, expand, and integrate a conscious breathing practice into your life. 

The best methods to use are the ones that resonate with you most, are easiest to remember, and most likely to become routine!

Final Motivation!

Beyond just feeling calmer, these practices pay off where it counts. A 2025 study found that daily mindfulness practices, like those outlined above, are directly linked to better sexual well-being and higher quality experiences for couples (Goldberg et al., 2025).

So, STFD (slow the f*ck down, literally and figuratively), breathe deep and intentionally. Stay present. It’s good for your stress resilience, your relationship, and your sex life!

References

Dibb, J. (2025). Breathwork and Psychotherapy: Clinical Applications for Healing and Transformation. W. W. Norton & Company

Goldberg, S.Y., Vaillancourt-Morel, MP., Kolbuszewska, M. et al. Daily Sexual Mindfulness is Linked with Greater Sexual Well-Being in Couples. Mindfulness 16, 1876–1889 (2025).

Movember Foundation. (2025). Changing the face of men's health. https://us.movember.com/about/foundation

Nestor, J. (2020). Breath: The new science of a lost art. Riverhead Books

Teasdale, J., Williams, M., & Segal, Z. (2014). The Mindful Way Workbook: An 8-Week Program to Free Yourself from Depression and Emotional Distress. Guilford Press.